Donnie's Pensieve

S4: Hospital Stories

2009-07-07T03:17:41Z

A day in the hospital can bring you thinking about the different phases of life people are facing somewhere. My sister was recently diagnosed with dengue and fortunately did not get worse and she was only confined for three days. I had 1 visit during that time since I'm in Laguna during weekdays and I cannot go to East Avenue just yet.

The confined person right beside us (we are in a shared room) drank 10 BioFlu, 10 Decolgen, and 10 something else, basically 1 banig of each and he collapsed. He said he usually had fights with his father and that brought him to attempt suicide-- failed though. He was interviewed by some students and he said he had no regrets with what happened. Well, for me he was plain idiot. A coward. If you want to commit suicide, make it painful. Bloody. Splat. So you are sure dead. There's nothing worse than failing to commit suicide. He chose the painless way of dying. For that he was a coward. For deciding to die facing problems, that's double coward. Nurses actually hated him. Why would you waste time on somebody who wants to die? Somebody who did not care for his life?

The person on the opposite side also had dengue. With dengue, you are actually required to buy syringes everytime they need to get blood from you for blood test. A syringe cost 2.25 in that hospital. And the parent of that boy cannot buy one. Php 2.25.

Those who cannot pay for the hospital bill are sent to the basement where you'll smell damp soil. It has poor ventilation and there are a lot of you sharing rooms. You'll actually get more sick staying there for a day. Even with Social Welfare discounts, they still cannot afford to pay the bill, therefore, increasing the bill everyday.

One night, my mother was watching over my sister when a lady, who she met in the observation ward, was walking on the floor. My mother called her asking how she was doing. She said that she was just walking around after realizing that the Social Welfare was closed and she cannot buy her daughter an 80-pesos worth of dextrose. Her husband is back in Payatas working hard on the garbage just to cure their daughter's low potassium level. My mother had to lend her the money (Php100, then the lady returned for the change and promised to pay back), though my mother decided not to expect.

With these situations, one can imagine how lucky you are being able to read this in the first place (I mean, you can afford internet) while there are those who are plainly miserable. Sometimes we think that life is treating us so bad. But actually, some child is suffering worse. We should just be happy with what we have. Don't surrender on your problems or try to make your life complicated as there are those who are simply ground zero.

I was crying in the hidden stairs of the hospital, thinking about my sister. Then, I realized there is hope. Something you should never lose. If some people can survive their miseries, then, so are you!

Gupit Gupit#2: System Time

2008-10-06T18:19:44Z

Gupit Gupit#1: Aspartic Acid Scare

2008-10-06T01:52:22Z

McUrinal

2008-09-29T11:25:21Z

McUrinal

Recycled Quote

2008-08-25T14:55:33Z

It is understandable and expected that we meet date and even sleep with several people in our lives. Partners who fight about past (and especially dead) relationships do not trust each other. Yet, when you meet a new person in your life, either number 18 or 29, there's something wrong if you use the same tactics to get that person.

I'm currently in a relationship with a guy I believe to be "the one." I have always been taken away by the way he strings his words into endearments. Check my Friendster out and see. But when I found out one of the quotes he posted he said for me was in somebody else's pictures in his very own Friendster, I felt hurt.

How could somebody you consider the one do something that he already did to the one hundred? It made me feel that I'm just one of them, one of the many. I know he loves me but it just pains me that those words that I have fallen in love to have been used for somebody before. Is there a manual that he follows?

Maybe he just ran out of creativity but recyclying quotes and acts and dedicating it to someone else is a form of fraud. I wonder if the relationship is the same way-- fraud; just one of the many. I felt like I was being mocked by the smiling ex in the picture like "Nye, nye, nye, nye, nye, sa akin una yung quote na yun, secondhand ka lang."

Last week, I gave him a personalized chocolate bar with a quote that took me hours to formulate. It was a shortened version of a poem I wrote for him which is currenly posted in Wikiquotes and is even dedicated to him online. What I got pala is a ChocNut out of the jar from a suking tindahan which could have been from the store nearest your place, dear reader.

I called him immediately and all he could say is "Sorry if I'm not a good partner. Matagal na yun, pag-aawayan ba naman natin yan?" I replied that I will erase that quote from all my accounts that has that quote. He told me that it is like erasing him in my life. Here I am looking for the Delete button in the Comments section of Friendster and wishing I do not find it.

(to be continued)

Naked in Front of a Stranger for the 4th Time

2008-08-21T19:54:20Z

They did not use injection this time to get blood but the tiny needle was actually more painful. This is the fourth time I did this. I had to get naked (in underwear only) in front of a complete stranger again. I peed on a little test tube again testing my aiming skills. I had to bare my chest on a cold metal plate and get beamed by lightwave.

Two years ago, I had a 3- part article all about this. But this time, I can only complete one and I even don't know what to type next. I realized I have been in this company for four years now and a lot of people actually asked me if ever I plan to move out. I do, I swear I want to get out. I'm getting tired and I actually feel riding along the rumor in the floor that I will be moving to the client's local site. But that it is not true. Not because I am loyal to the company but honestly, I'm just lazy to print a resume and walk back along Ayala Avenue or Emerald under the sun, climbing through towers and dizzying elevators, waiting for my turn to get interviewed.

I'd rather go up to our training room in my waiting class and impart my knowledge to my students. It's my dream to teach. And now I'm back to an old question: where do I go from here?

I'm not sure. A three- paragraph blog won't trigger my brain to be enlightened. I know I'm slacking around, maybe making excuses for a lack of plan but I don't think so. I have a plan. It's about to be done. And (my fingers paused midhitting the letters on the keyboard) fortunately, in order for me to achieve it, all I have to do is hang on to where I am sitting right now.

My finger is aching again. I'm not sure what made it so painful. Is it really just plain painful, or it's a way for my body to tell me it pains typing on the same keyboard for four years.

SB Abolishes the Hill

2008-08-19T08:08:12Z

A large wooden poster is displayed in one of the gates of the QC Circle telling that Sonny Belmonte has taken over the jurisdiction of the Circle and he is driving for a "wholesome" park. Haha.

Everyone knows what happens around the circle when the clock strikes 12 midnight. Prostitutes and callboys roam around, waiting for the customer for the day. Unfortunately, there is really nothing we can do about it since how can you prove anyone to be a prostitute if he or she is just standing at a corner? The road around circle is considered a public place and therefore can be occupied at anytime. Not because I'm well- dressed and sitting in under one of the waiting sheds does it mean that I sell myself. I could simply be sitting there for whatever reason like in any other road. Even if it so obvious that you are a prostitute, you cannot be condemned unless you are caught in the act.

Yet, one thing that bothered me is the demolition of "the Hill." Inside the gates of the circle, in front of __ road, you will see an elevated clearing hidden by trees. If you go to this area early (Circle opens at 4AM) or late (before 11PM when the Circle closes), you will see some guys sitting or simply standing. That's wholesome. But if you look closely, you will see more. The "Hill" is a place where you can get free sex. You will even find actual encounters going on at a corner and there will even be audience. It's a simple walk around and wait to be grabbed thing that a lot seems to enjoy. Used to.

Used to because Sonny Belmonte demolished the hill. Last week, I saw a tractor moving the hill out. A demonstration of power and revamp. yet pathetic. The government is trying to remove the location of such dirty activities yet, we all know that this is just one mole out of the many. You can never stop anyone, not just the homosexual community, to build spots where activities like this are natural. Sex is something the homos and the heteros share and playing god will surely lose him pink votes in the next election (I'm not sure if he's running since he seems to be the mayor of QC for quite sometime now and if I'm not mistaken, mayorship has a maximum number of terms.) Destroying the hill won't solve the problem. In the first place, is there a problem? What you do not know won't hurt you... or what the others (society) don't know won't hurt them.

I'm not advocating exhibitionists here. There are places where you can do such things privately (sex dens that mask themselves as spas or health centers), though some people cannot afford this and will eventually find a way to commune. It's something 'pervert' but it is still something 'human' so who's to blame?

Hill or no hill, the community who used to enjoy the hidden clearing will just roam aorund like nomads. No one can stop human nature. Another hot spot will bleep in our radars and well... see you there!

What is PHILCOA?

2008-06-28T09:49:45Z

Philippine Coconut Authority– that’s what it stands for. And it is not the building where there is a Mercury Drug and McDonald’s building which serves as an entrance for UP Diliman.

PHILCOA is the government institution tasked to develop the coconut industry to its potential. It’s just I can’t help but wonder what that department is doing now. No offense but alloting one building to a department that takes care of coconuts is a little too much wherein the supposedly- constructed GSIS building is left undone in front of it.

Hope that they could finally come up to totally do something about supplying the country with coconut oil as replacement for gasoline to help with the price hikes and pollution.

Taken from Wikipedia:

The Philippine Coconut Authority was created pursuant to Presidential Decree 232 on June 30, 1973. It absorbed and assumed the powers and functions of the then Coconut Coordinating Council (CCC), the Philippine Coconut Administration (PHILCOA) and the Philippine Coconut Research Institute (PHILCORIN).

Today, it is the sole government agency that is tasked to develop the industry to its full potential in line with the new vision of a united, globally competitive and efficient coconut industry.

In 1940, the National Coconut Corporation (NACOCO) was created to promote the growth and development of the industry. It was later renamed in 1954, as the Philippine Coconut Administration (PHILCOA) with the same function and responsibilities.

Ten years after, PHILCOA expanded its scope of operations and renamed as Philippine Coconut Research Institute (PHILCORIN) an agency created to monitor, evaluate and conduct researches on the coconut.

It was in 1971, at the height of the Period of Expansion when the Coconut Coordinating Council (CCC) was created in lieu of PHILCORIN and was tasked to supervise, coordinate and evaluate the implementation of the coconut self-sufficiency program of the government.

But these agencies lacked singleness in its purpose. The framework upon which they operated did not revolve around the total development of the coconut industry where coconut farmers stood at the focal point.

In view of this, the Government of the Philippines deemed it necessary to create an agency that would address that situation, thus, the Philippine Coconut Authority was created on June 30, 1973 by virtue of P.D. No. 232. It absorbed and assumed the powers and functions, including the personnel and assets of the then defunct CCC, PHILCOA, and the PHILCORIN.

Philippine Coconut Authority became an independent public corporation on July 14, 1976 pursuant to P.D. No. 961, reporting directly and supervised solely by the Office of the President. This Decree was the first codification of the laws dealing with the development of the coconut and other palm oil industry.

The Code was later revised on June 11, 1978 by P.D. No. 1468 (”Revised Coconut Industry Code”) which eventually became the charter of PCA as a public corporation.

Finally, on January 30, 1987, pursuant to Executive Order No. 116, the Philippine Coconut Authority was officially declared as an attached Agency of the Department of Agriculture (DA). The declaration of transfer to DA from the Office of the President was enacted to provide overall coordination and monitoring of policies and programs of various sectors in agriculture. The attachment was confirmed and incorporated in the Administrative Code of 1987.

***

Blogging is Dying

2008-06-15T15:47:37Z

Is it just me or there is a bug out there causing the blogging world to take a natural 'kalausan.'

I started blogging when I was in college when I took a Creative Writing 198 in UP Diliman, online writing, under prof Paolo Manalo. Since then, I brought up this site and other themed sites though I easily lose interest specially if I ran out of topics or simply: no one's reading. I never cared about the number of readers I had (as seen in the number of comments or hits if the site has a counter). I believed that as long as you have one reader, it is OK since as my CW class thought me, 1 fan is enough, as long as your blog is read.

But lately, I've noticed a very few readership here in LJ. I wondered if my blogs are getting more boring, which is the prime suspect but I've investigated and it seems other blogs who usually gets a lot of comments are also having this. Though number of comments is not an assurance of readers and some bloggers use writing as a vent for their lives, wouldn't it be better if there's someone expressing opinion?

Also, those who frequently blog before are also gone. I've checked if they just removed me as a friend but no too.

It seems the busy lifestyle is getting over blogging. Quite understandable. I salute those who maintain their blogs religiously like astroboi and grimlock88 (among my friends here). Though, this decline of readership is not seen in popular blogs like boingboing or the others, even a negative comment is much appreciated for small bloggers these times.

Why Ghosts Exist

2008-06-15T15:27:53Z

I’ve been fimbling around with the metaphysical again lately. I had the chance of applying the theory of visualization, spell- casting, and spirit summoning when my *friend’s sister got possessed by spirits, something that happened quite often. The sister simply lied down, feeling the alleged spirit taking control of her. I saw my friend get a rosary and recite a Latin spell to remove the spirit out of the body.

Deep inside I do not know what to do. I can read the Tarot cards, I can cast spells, but never dealt with a spirit before. Then, I realized that there must be a way to do it. Applying all that I know about magick, I thought of the way I summon spirits to guide me in foretelling the future through the cards and instead, summon the spirits to help pull the spirit out of my friend’s sister.

I also recited Christian prayers, to double my friend’s attempts in doing something. Soon, when I finished my own spell, the sister of my friend opened her eyes and just relaxed. Two more spirits followed. The previous technique that I used did not work anymore since the spirits are a bit stronger as shown by violent hand waving (which gave me arm aches later as there was a bit of a struggle.) The fourth spirit also had intentions of possessing my friend as he said and as I felt so, the reason why I was holding his hand during that time. I casted a protection spell on him by using the ‘power’ or ‘field’ of love to envelope him always.

I was so exhausted afterwards that I really demanded to eat. As I previously know, the house is beside a portal (if the light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel thing or a boca del inferno, I’m not sure yet; but since the spirits that came that day were the quiet type, I assume it’s the earlier) and adjacent with a chapel, causing this conflict.

As I was tasked to do something about it, like give the sister the ability to control it or at least minimize it since innate abilities such as this are difficult to remove and actually has its benefits, I had to do research (which I will be posting my commentaries on the next entries).

And as the first information I had to consider, I had to study why ghosts exists. The body that we have is like a shell for our soul. When the body dies, the spirit remains untouched since death is only applicable to the tangible flesh. This spirit still has traces of memories of the living life (actually, probably most of it) and once the body dies, this spirit continues to roam (sometime not knowing that they are dead or looking for that white light– something very common in near- death experiences). Now, with the memory still intact, the ghost of our body thinks about his life and when the white light appears, those who know what the light is all about become afraid to move forward because they know that they’ll end up in hell anyway. They are the ones who sway away from this light and become earthbound. Another reason for not going into the light is simply ignorance of what to do now that the ghost realizes the body is dead. It is also possible that ghosts return to their host bodies (as long as the body can still accommodate life, of course.)

Is a ghost good or bad? Well, that depends. Again, ghosts still retain their memories and they usually roam around the places they used to live. Since they have no one to talk to, sometimes, they feel like the urge to make themselves felt by the living. They may also meet those who are highly sensitive to them, those who can see them and those who can feel them. There are some people who are also capable of being possessed. These are the people who either wants to be a vessel or whose aura are weak due to negative thoughts, so they get easily evaded.

Wikipedias raised skepticisms about ghosts include:

Sound is thought to be another cause of supposed sightings. Frequencies lower than 20 hertz are called infrasound and are normally inaudible, but scientists Richard Lord and Richard Wiseman have concluded that infrasound can cause humans to experience bizarre feelings in a room, such as anxiety, extreme sorrow or even the chills.

Carbon monoxide poisoning, which can cause changes in perception of the visual and auditory systems,was recognized as a possible explanation for haunted houses as early as 1921.

Another potential explanation of apparitions is that they are hypnagogic hallucinations.

The traditional perception of ghosts wearing clothing is considered illogical by some researchers, given the supposed spiritual nature of ghosts, suggesting that the basis of what a ghost is said to look like and consist of is quite dependent on preconceptions made by society.Skeptics also say that, to date, there is no credible scientific evidence that any location is inhabited by spirits of the dead.

Some researchers, such as Professor Michael Persinger (Laurentian University, Canada), have speculated that changes in geomagnetic fields (created, e.g., by tectonic stresses in the Earth’s crust or solar activity) could stimulate the brain’s temporal lobes and produce many of the experiences associated with hauntings.

Then again, Science hasn’t really done a great job in explaining the paranormal. Yes, they are two contradicting fields but it does not mean that one of them has to be false.

[To be continued. Originally posted in The Rex Files, June 2 2008]

What Do You Do About Your BF's Ex?

2008-06-04T06:35:29Z

Just a question: what do you do if your boyfriend's ex still texts your boyfriend?

Like makulit even if the ex knows that your bf is taken already. The ex also admitted that he still loves my bf. The ex lied that he's going to have a surgery so my bf would text him. My bf stopped texting the ex though the ex really insists on texting and all i cud do is trust that my bf doesn't reply as he said. Given: I have the ex's number.

Hay...

Sige nga, Kung Mahal Mo Ako, Kiss Mo Ko

2008-05-30T11:14:53Z

Chris told me a story a while ago:

There was these two handsome guys in MRT, standing up because there were no more seats. One of them was hugging the other from the back and said, "Sige nga, if mahal mo ako, kiss mo ko..." (Let's see, if you really love me, then kiss me), and the second guy kissed him in the lips.

Is society really OK with this kind of relationship already? Well, technically, everyone is aware of its existence in other countries. It's just, as we all know, and as we all have heard already, Philippines is a Christian country and homosexual relationship is still banned.

Anyway, I'm not going to talk about that same crap. I just realized how true the love is of those guys. Despite what other people may think of them, they stil showed how they love each other in public, and even shouts it out. Their love is above what the hundreds of people may think of them, which is... love.

How would society start accepting this and not make fun of it if we do not show it and we agree to their beliefs as these kinds of relationship as gooey or eewy or bad or illegal by hiding it and keeping it a secret. It's like the Salem witches scared and those who chose to profess their belief in magic were burned to death, yet, what we can say as heroes of the magic reality.

Am I just fuzzing about it and maybe those who does not like PDA (public display of affection) may argue with me? I think it is not PDA. It is more of telling the person you love you love him/her and I am ready to tell the world about it. Again, PDA is just another word by the unloved, conservative, and the hypocrites.

Donnie the Thesis Adviser

2008-05-28T08:57:40Z

What? Me?

I haven't even reached third year college and this new pakulo in the office made me something like a thesis adviser.

Over a hundred agents were pulled out of taking in calls to fight the high avail we are experiencing-- what management called the Dry Season. Rumors of the account being pulled out has been spreading because of this lack of calls but if you actually check it out, all technical accounts are experiencing the same. So those who were pulled out were sent to training for a month, and part of the activity is a thesis that they will complete and even defend against the highest management.

Today was Day One of the training and they all came up with topics already:

Resolution vs Handling Time
Taking Control of Customer Experience
Communication Skills vs Technical Skills
Customer Behavior as Experience Factor

All of them wanted a survey- type thesis but I recommended that they should be backed up by numbers or historical data. I also started researching about thesis formats as I will be approving these topics and contents as well.

Funny.

***

Not sure yet if I can attend this:

It's Veronica's birthday on this day. We'll see...

Sign up: http://msforums.ph/forums/p/48271/233472.aspx

Closing my Downelink

2008-05-23T12:19:28Z

Downelink Closing
im not even sure why I’m sending this to all of my friends in Downelink. Not sure of the reason.
I opened a Downelink account two months ago, hoping to meet people na makakasundo ko, magusgustuhan ko, or magugustuhan ako.
After 150+ friends, I still havent met somebody n okay.
Within that time, I met one na nagustuhan ako s first meeting pero not sure if kayang mkipagsabayan sa akin. Im working and he’s studying. Ako lagi nanlilibre whenever we meet and out of town p xa.
I met two na flirt nung first meeting and naging friendly nung second meeting and the other meetings that followed. Xa n cguro yung pinakamatino sa lahat nang nameet kaso nung i told him that i like him, he backed out.
I met three. Mabait sana kaso medyo sabik and was not my type talaga.
I met four na akala ko mabait sa text kaso sex lang pala habol.
I met five na gusto ko talaga, sobra. Cute and caring. He somehow found me cool din naman on the first date. But Im not really sure what happened next since up to now, di xa nagrereply. Sayang. hay..
SO here I am, going to close my downelink after two weeks; iiopen ko xa daily for the next two weeks and will finally shut it off after 14 days.
in case:
0915-2589506
donnieraydeguzmanbaje@yahoo.com
I dunno. Good luck sa ating lahat, I guess.

Short Messages
Don’t lose hope dude! Until this account is free, take advantage of it for the mean time. Try to know as many friends and peeps as you want. Who knows? and what’s life without taking risks.
John- Downelink
http://www.downelink.com/messages/readmessage.aspx?id=21905961
*
tama ba?….hehe…
neruda873- Downelink
http://www.downelink.com/messages/readmessage.aspx?id=22553460
*
aww..
well, u shouldnt give u looking for the right person for u, u know.
it really hurts to meet someone and know that he looks for something else but u should never try looking. kasi baka kung kelan ka nag give up, dun mo na sana cia nakilala dba? :B
ive been in ur position. ngaun, i found someone. dont lose hope. :B
miko- Downelink
http://www.downelink.com/messages/readmessage.aspx?id=22456518
*
go pa! you have still 166-5=161 persons to meet pa.
housemate ii
http://www.downelink.com/messages/readmessage.aspx?id=22440696
*
sad stories huh???… well, it happens to all of us….
adam- Downelink
http://www.downelink.com/messages/readmessage.aspx?id=22388257
*
dont seem hopeless dude…just tell me how can i possibly help you out with this matter…
contact me, 0917 2483256…hope to hear from you asap…
ciao!
Delinquente- Downelink
http://www.downelink.com/messages/readmessage.aspx?id=22220895
*
hi…msta?
Neuroman- Downelink
http://www.downelink.com/messages/readmessage.aspx?id=22216840
*
Don’t lose hope dude! Until this account is free, take advantage of it for the mean time. Try to know as many friends and peeps as you want. Who knows? and what’s life without taking risks. ;)
John- Downelink
http://www.downelink.com/messages/readmessage.aspx?id=21905961
*
The Story of Jayce
Hay naku. Went through that before too. Met my first three “relationships” sa chat years ago. One week, two weeks, five days. Etc. During that time, I was so seriously in love with them and devastated when they left me or when I found out na playtime lang pala. Hindi lang iyak. Ngalngal pa! Haha. I was twenty two then. Wanted to give up din. Well, you grow wiser, stronger. Looking back, wala kwenta lang pala. Sayang lang iyak ko. The best ones pa rin are those you meet for the first time in person, either by coincidence or referral.
Pag sa net kasi, alam ng people na most of the time, lokohan. Ang mag seryoso, Talo. But when introduced orreferred by a common good friend, anyone would think twice bago manggagago.
Believe me, found this current relationship while still nursing a “painful” heartache from a guy frim the net. Two weeks lang kami ng net guy from chat nayun. But was very “hurt” then. I said ayoko na. Then one day, a frined was looking for ipapadate sa friend niya. I did not even ask for a date. Nor was I looking. Not even waiting. Accident talaga na ako una nya kinausap after makausap yung friend niya.
Take this advice seriously: Start by building your circle of gay friends. Look for really good FRIENDS sa net. NOT BOYFRIENDS. Kung sex ok lang. BUT NOT BOYFRIENDS. Once you have your circle na, thats when you get introduced to guys from their networks. Better yun. Less prone to heartache. Promise mo you will do this?
That’s where you get good friends. Start from there. Friends lang talaga. If and when magsex kayo, ok lang ifyou both like it. But be clear to him and yourself mismo na friends lang talaga hanap mo para shold you decide to have sex, hindi ka tataguan or something after because hindi naman relationship hanap mo. You won’t expect, you won’t get hurt.
Sige, from now on, text me na sa real number ko. pang-DL lang kasi ito. Dami kasi miss call etc. Kaya ayaw ko give real number ko.
Jayce- Downelink
Texted messages
*

ei dude!
y dont u give urself another chance!
i’ve been to bad dates and bad relationships before.
nevertheless, i never lose hope.
s’why my friends say im an incurable romantic. hehe ^_^
y dont u go out w/ me.
who knows? we myt hit it off!
if we dont, we can still be friends!
pls dont close ur account here! ^_^
09276428587 fonzy
Fonzy- Downelink
http://www.downelink.com/messages/readmessage.aspx?id=21840091
*
What Do We Expect
how sad… kaya ako., 4months na yata ako., once palang ako nkipagmeet., maraming gustong mkipag eb sa akin., pero init lang yan talaga sa simula., wat do you expect dito sa site na ito., its purely seb…. ewan ko lang., pero sa ngayon gusto ko lang makipagfriend sa kanila then siguro after a series or contstant communication with them., so siguro dats the time na makikipagkita na ako sa kanila., well keep on searching dude… dont give up…. malay mo its about time to meet me…hehehehe., so dont close your account dude…..lets give a try…….09284104403/09225193044
Christian- Downelink
http://www.downelink.com/messages/readmessage.aspx?id=21842262
*
Sumuko
lam u wag kng smko,sa una ganyan lang tlga pero ndi mgtatagal makakakuha ka rin,wag kang sumoko kaya mo yan at wag mung eh close ung acoun t mo d2 sa downelink.
Jay- Downelink
http://www.downelink.com/messages/readmessage.aspx?id=21819316
*
Enjoy the Thrill
it happens all the time… ganyan talaga ang mga lalake like us, more unpredictable than the weather… at least you get to meet five folks may iba diyan hanggang messages lang sa DL and never has the guts to meet up… meron din iba cool and friendly, haven’t met them yet but we YM or text basta wala lang expectations… most of them friends nalang kaya if we meet at the bar it’s cool, we chat, drink up or whatever, dance the night away, its kinda fun actually, don’t know why i am replying to your message but i just felt like relying to the message that i first read today… in DL sometimes the add you add sometimes they take you offf but that’s ok, you just add other people then and besides you don’t know them naman personally, you might not know it but you get to meet new friends just a couple out of the 150 or the 284, keep the account its cool but it’s not the only way to meet guys sa 7/11 or sa gym or sa MRT… or sa yoga class who knows… just keep the account with friends, common acquaintances, new friends and possible prospects…
just hang in there dude and enjoy the thrill of the ride =)
Bing- Downelink
http://www.downelink.com/messages/readmessage.aspx?id=21817708
*
At Least You Met Them
I registered in DL with the same reason as yours. I am surfing and checking this site for less than a month. Wala pa naman ako na me-meet. I am still in search of that special someone. I am saddened by the experiences you have encountered. I wish you wouldn’t feel that all your efforts were wasted because by the end of the day you have learned from those not-so-good encounters. At least you are able to meet a spectrum of personalities. Mas marunong ka nang manimbang ng pagkatao ng bawat nakikilala mo kasi may pinagbabatayan ka na mula sa mga nakilala mo.
di naman perfect ang buhay. . . we need to have those bumps along our paths to make us more learned.
you are still on the gaining side if you come to think about it. . .
just message me if you need someone to talk to. . .
A.M.- Downelink
http://www.downelink.com/messages/readmessage.aspx?id=21802309
*
Unfair for You
i do not know if i have the right to say this. but don’t lose hope. walang kasiguraduhan lahat ng nangyayari. we only lose hope because we expect.
don’t expect things turning up the way you planned, wanted…dahil hindi ganoon ang buhay. minsan kailangan lang natin sumabay sa agos nito. kung saan tayo papapuntahin nun, go rin tayo…let loose, let go.
donnie, if this is any consolation, i haven’t met someone here and i think that i got here way ahead of you. (well, nung summer lang yata ako nag-apply haha)…at tsaka buti ka nga nakakapag-date na…ako nga, wala pa. well siguro it’s my choice, or i wasn’t brave enough…but the truth is, i want the date to be special. you might not agree with me but that’s me…hehe. just sharing. ang punto ko lang siguro is, may time na inilaan sayo to find him
whatelse…well, ur one of the people i visit the profile often. haha. kadiri ko ‘no? siguro dahil kamukha mo yung super crush ko sa BA. tapos 6 days apart lang ang birthday niyong dalawa, at harry potter fan rin siya. but siyempre, siya ang gusto ko, at mahihirapan akong iexplain sa iyo pagnagkataon why i like you. u get me? it would be unfair to you, na tinitignan kita, but thinking of somebody else.
ur an attractive guy, very hardworking (well mahirap magcall center ha, at nakikita ko ang friends ko struggling to work and study at the same time)…if only i had the guts to meet, id do. really. but i guess ako na ang may mali nun. cute ka kc e, habang ako pag nakita mo ako, isang 21 year old that looked like a 26 year old stressed guy with meteor garden like craters in the face, so don’t lose hope my friend.
Ron- Downelink
http://www.downelink.com/messages/readmessage.aspx?id=21797762

***

[Originally published as Two Weeks Notice in The Palace Proclamations 2: the 18th Year (2006)]

Where There is More Sex than Light

2008-04-27T01:18:17Z

Stiff. That’s how Gilbert described Rex who was just standing on a corner waiting for Gilbert to finish taking a shower.

“Get to move. Flirt.”

Rex laughed. “I will. Later.”

Soon, Gilbert started walking around the floor. Rex watched the darkened room. Men in towels only walk slowly along the corridor, stopping to check the guy waiting at the door of each room. One talk Chinese guy stopped in front of the room beside Rex. He leaned to the other small guy who has been standing on the door. They giggled and both entered the room. The door slid closed.

A chubby guy walked passed Rex and smiled at him. “You game?” the guy asked him.

Rex stared at the guy in front of him. His first of the 15 invites for that night until he finally decides to get laid with someone. He smiled and walked away.

He entered one of the corridors blocked by a curtain of chains. He stopped on a side where you can see a television playing a video of four guys having sex. Not five minutes when he stepped away as a pimply guy touched Rex’s penis and leaned on the wall beside Rex.

Rex started looking for Gilbert. He cannot find him and finally thought Gilbert must be in one of the rooms. After 30 minutes of guys talking to him, Rex decided to have a drink. Walking towards the stairs down, Rex watched two guys come out of the room. One was tall and dark, the other small and fair. The small guy saw Rex and stared at him for a few seconds then continued as the taller one grabbed his arms and walked down.

***

Ice showed his number bracelet to the bartender who handed him the pitcher of Mindoro sling. He grabbed the two glasses and poured the drink in it, giving the second glass to Titus who accepted it and took a sip.

“Let’s finish this quick and get back upstairs,” Ice said.

“Why? What’s the plan?” asked Titus who was starting to get tipsy as he’s not used to drinking hard.

“Nothing,” Ice replied. “You can go find yourself a mate if you want.”

“I won’t do that.”

“Why not? It’s ok to do it.”

“I won’t. You go ahead if you want.”

Half an hour later, both of them got the pitcher empty and returned upstairs looking for a room. “Have you seen the guy in the bar? The one behind me? He was rubbing his penis at my back.”

Ice laughed. “Then you should have talked to him. Sometimes you have to learn to socialize, Titus. There’s nothing wrong with talking. Just talking.”

Not finding a room, Ice and Titus went to the third floor where there are couches to sit on. They found one and stayed there with Titus lying on Ice’s lap. Titus was not yet sleep, though his eyes really wanted too as he spotted the guy who have been walking around the area, obviously searching.

The guy saw the couple on the sofa and stared at them for a few seconds. He looked at the guy lying on the bigger guy’s lap but did not paid much attention as he did not have plans of talking to someone who’s already with someone. He decided to walk some more and stayed at a corner where a flirty guy approached him.

Soon, a room was vacated by three guys and Ice shook Titus to wake up and they entered the room. They both lied on the mattress and kissed. Though, Titus retracted as he started tasting the cigarette in Ice’s mouth. Titus decided to kiss Ice’s neck. He licked tasting a bit of sweat and as if the sling got stuck on Ice’s smooth neck. Titus licked his way down to Ice’s nipples and sucked it, Ice kissing his hair and forehead.

Ice took Titus’ towel, the only piece of cloth enveloping him and instructed him to stand up. Titus did too and laid his back on the wall as he becomes more weak with the alcohol as the minute goes by. Ice kissed Titus’ penis and smelled it. He rubbed his nose on Titus’ organ and soon put all in his mouth. Ice started playing the penis in his mouth, shaking it gently and bobbing his head up and down. Titus could only close his eyes and breathe out as Ice licked his scrotum while masturbating his penis. It stayed like that for minutes until Ice stood up and asked Titus to turn back. Titus did so and he felt Ice’s finger wet his anus with what could only be saliva. Titus then felt the tip of Ice’s penis position and then forced in him.

Titus almost yelled but was able to control it as he knows he may be heard outside. He felt as Ice’s penis went out of him and entered again. It was painful but it was always like that at start. What’s sex without pain but a flowerless rose plant. Ice started pumping and making noises on his own as he felt he was about to cum. And he did. Inside.

Ice hugged Titus for a while, and let go. Titus stayed standing up for a few seconds and lied for a while, both weak. Minutes later, Titus stepped out to go to the toilet. On his way, he saw the guy again but now talking to someone who walked away.

The guy looked at him, Titus could feel a force pulling him to the guy who smiled at him. He continued to the toilet and did his thing and went back up where he really planned to pass by near the guy. The guy looked at him, as if waiting, and Titus approached him.

“What’s your name?” Titus asked.

“Rex.”

“You with someone?”

“Yeah, a friend. But he’s enjoying himself.”

“First time here?”

“Yep. What’s your name?”

“Titus.”

“You with that tall guy?”

“Yes.”

“I see,” Rex sighed.

“Want to go somewhere?”

“Where?”

Titus grabbed Rex’s arm and pulled him looking for a vacant room. He found a gay guy standing on the door of an empty room and asked if he could move so they could come in. The gay guy moved out and Titus pushed Rex in and slid the door shut.

Rex lied on the mattress as Titus put himself on top of him and started kissing his lips. He could taste melon in Rex’s mouth so he pushed his tongue in to lick more. Then, realizing that Ice may be looking for him, he put saliva in his hands and rubbed his penis with it, then Rex’s anus. Titus positioned his penis and penetrated Rex hard Rex let out a moan. Rex kept moaning as Titus kept pumping. Soon, Titus cursed as his sperm spurt out in Rex’s. Titus pulled out and lied for a while.

“Can I have your number?” Rex asked.

“09191218960.” Then Titus stood up and stepped out to go to the shower to wash. Titus returned to where he left Ice who was sleeping sound. Titus lied beside him and embraced him, but he did not fell asleep.

[Originally posted in The Rex Files, May 12 2008]

Witnessed By: Donnie Castro

2008-04-27T00:58:56Z

Hi Clarissa, how are you? (smiling)

I think you already know what this is all about. Alright.

Based on the evaluation made by Au and Donnie with you as you underwent the Technical Certification, you have not passed the assessments and with that, based on the gateway that you signed, I'm sad to say that your employment with the Company is now terminated starting today.

Do you have any questions?

Well, there was no assurance that you will be transferred to another account. Yet, you are free to apply as we are lifting the six months rule that you cannot apply in the company. Alright?

Any other questions? (shoves the paper to Donnie for his signature)

Thank you.

Donnie, feel free to speak. You're so quiet.

It's not your fault, Donnie. You've been a good trainer to them.

Alright.

Next.

(8 down, 4 to go)

The Now

2008-04-08T10:34:06Z

A rainbow
A beggar's treasure
over his tin can filled with rain
and two coins
Fades
As the last raindrop dries

A novel
Read by a man
Fall asleep cannot from a day
Hours of joys and rot
Ends
As the last period hits

A candle
Gives light to the child
Lost along the park
Watching shadows pass by
Dims
As the warmth is consumed

Coffee
Brewed strong and hot
By the man a minute from bed
An eternity to life
Turns cold
Left on the table

A toffee
In the mouth of a traveller
Sweet food
Long way home
Melts
Fills an empty stomach

A conversation
Whisper that made someone cry
But smiled
A shout againts sadness
Gone silenced
The last words spoken

A butterfly
Fluttering over the vendor's
Dry flowers of spring
Only two days it flies
Caught by the lost boy
Yet still

The Student Who Found the Teacher

2008-04-06T02:35:47Z

Message I received in a LGBTQ website:

Company_Nova:
got place? san ka nova>? mit tayo hit me back if ur interested

Me:
pic?
(At this point I know that the person works in the same place as I am since his screen name is the name of the company)

Company_Nova:
i think i know u... and ur my trainor...(shy ako)
hehehehehehe

pero dont worry...
i wont tell to anyone....

but if ur still interested,,, that will be ok...

just hit me back,,, (",)

Me:
Yeah, I'm from the same company.. pero sorry h, I don't remember training you

(The next day, I started training this new class and there he was)

Company_Nova:
do u know me na ba?
hehehehehehe
dinugo ako sa tinuro mo kanina!!!!
hahahahahahaha
pwede mag pa private tutor>?
hehehehehehhe

(I did not reply)

Company_Nova:
may pagka suplado ka sa personal ha...
ei just tell me po if ur not interested...

coz im interested po...
pero kung ayaw mo sakin oh sa sitwasyon... ill understand.. just tell me/...

(I will never reply)

***

He's not the first one who saw me in the site. And I do not mind since I'm not really hiding it. But he's the first to msg me this much.

The Baby with No Name

2008-04-04T09:03:54Z

Me problem kami sa house e. Regarding the baby... Dinala sya ng Ate ko and Bayaw ko sa Kuya Ronnie ko sa Frisco. Yung bayaw ko lng pumasok sa house nila. Sa una, ayaw pa nila magbukas ng pinto. Obvious na nagtatago. Tapos lumabas yung asawa ng Kuya Ronnie ko... sabi ba naman, anong ginagawa ninyo dito. Ayoko sa batang yan. Ang kapal ng mukha. Sabi ng bayaw ko, bakit kayo nag-ampon nito tapos dinala niyo lang samin. Yung Kuya Ronnie ko, walang bayag, under ng asawa nya. Hindi na daw nila kailangan yung bata. Isasauli daw ngayong gabi sa uncle ko, yung lolo ng nanay nung baby. Eh kaya nga pinaampon eh kasi talagang d nila kayang sustentuhan yung baby. Basta, wala daw silang pakialam sa baby.

Naiiyak na nga ate ko eh. Ang sama2 ng ugali ng hipag ko. Kumbaga, Kuya Ronnie ko naman ang nagdesisyon na mag-ampon.... tapos ngayong ayaw ng asawa nya, samin niya pinapakargo yung bata. Galit na galit nga ate ko... Hindi na namin papansinin ang kuya ko, bahala na siya sa buhay nya. Dati na naming hindi kinakausap yun... Kinausap lang namin dahil sumumpong yung sakit nya. Kasi naiinis kami sa kanya na sobrang under ng asawa niya. Siya ang bumubuhay sa buong pamilya ng asawa niya. As in lahat ng expenses sa house ng biyenan niya. Baka nga me ginawang something sa Kuya ko eh. Kasi everytime makikipaghiwalay siya dati, takot na takot sa asawa nya. Well, wala na kaming pakialam sa kanya. Yun ang gusto niyang buhay eh. Wala silang anak, We thought na seryoso na siyang mag-ampon, tapos ayaw ng wife niya, ipapasa na lang nya yung baby ng ganun na lang. Naaawa kami sa baby.

Hindi na rin kaya ng totoong pamilya na suportahan yung baby. Kaya pinaampon. Yun sinauli namin ngayon kasi gusto namin magkaron naman ng sariling desisyon Kuya Ronnie ko. Pero ang ginawa nila, tinawagan yung uncle ko at pinapakuha yung bata. Galit din uncle ko, sabi as Kuya Ronnie ko, bahala ka kung gusto nilang itapon yung baby. Pero sabi namin sa uncle ko, kapag sinauli sa kanila yung baby, sa amin muna... tapos saka na lng hanapan ng talagang seryosong mag-aampon sa baby.

Gusto namin yung baby... Actually, nakakaawa siya. Ang cute pa naman. Tapos parang alam niya na pinagpapasa-pasahan siya. Na walang me gusto sa kanya. Pero d kasi namin kaya yung expenses. Me foster child rin ako, yung pamangkin ko na magha-highschool. Saka me pinapaaral pa ate ko na nursing student at isa pang anak. Much as we would like to help the baby, to keep it. Naiiyak na nga kami ng ate ko. Kaming lahat sa house...nakakaawa kasi yung baby. Kung meron lang talagang aampon sa kanya at sigurado...yung responsable. Hay...

Yun lang kinuwento ko lang. Hindi ko kasi nakayanan. Umiyak nga ako dito sa office

The Coming: Curse of the Thornkeepers

2008-03-09T09:51:21Z

1654, currently Florence, Italy.

Brother Mikhail ran as fast as he could, clutching a small leather pouch. He kept turning his head, disappointed that the distance between him and the tall guy chasing him was getting smaller and smaller. Soon he will be caught.

When the tall man finally grabbed him, he yelled, "Get off!"

"Mikhail!" the man shouted back. "Give me that bag!"

"No!"

"You know it is cursed! It must be destroyed!"

"Jhonas, you don't understand! I plan to keep this with me!"

"You can't keep it! Its mere existence is forbidden! A sacrilege!"

"This will ensure that the line continues. Somewhere, sometime, somehow, He will be back. It has been seen!"

"Stop this craziness, Mikhail! It is cursed! Whoever accepts it and keeps it dies! You know that!"

"I know!"

"Then destroy it now!"

"Here, it's yours!" Mikhail handed the bag.

Jhonas accepted the leather bag and felt it warm.

Mikhail said, "Now, die, the curse is yours!" And with that, Mikhail took out a knife and plunged it to his heart. Blood spurted out as his knees fell.

Jhonas watched Mikhail fall. He knelt down to assist Mikhail dropping the bag, whose eyes were slowly closing. "No..." Jhonas could only whisper as he saw Mikhail lost his life.

He turned to to his right where the vial of blood in the bag rolled out.

***

A CW 198 story I wrote as introduction to a novel I was about to write 2 years ago and now, I finally wanted to finish this novel which I am going to post here chapter by chapter.

Donnie's First Wikipedia Article

2008-03-06T09:16:32Z

Chris invited me to watch this gay- themed movie now showing in Robinson's Manila since we missed the director's cut premiere in UP. I searched for the movie in Google and found very few informative page about it other than IMDB's. I tried Wikipedia and there was also none, leading me to write about it!

Yes! My first Wikipedia article. The topic's quite weird or I cannot really announce it too much to my friends since only few of them knows about my preference. But hey, when was the last time you wanted to write an article in Wikipedia and found it not taken or written about yet? Anyway, my first attempt was to write an article about myself 2 years ago but of course, it got deleted. Since then, I'ev been satisfied with editing things that I know about like the Dell, Mall of Asia, Kodak, and Adam Sandler pages. Now, here it is--an article of my own! Just search for "Ang Lihim ni Antonio" to find its under construction page. :)

Project Atovi

2008-02-11T01:19:25Z

I accepted this sideline of converting an English website to Filipino so more people (especially farmers) can understand it. Here's a sample paragraph:

Atovi’s high micropotential energy charges immediately the cells’ mitochondria ( cells power house) and immediately runs the atp pumps to run the kreb cycle (cells whole mechanism) that is, all cells of all organs i.e. liver, kidneys, heart, intestinal tracts, muscles, bones, etc., at all levels of the animal, making normal cells efficient while the deteriorating and sickly cells are revitalized, rejuvenated and restored ultimately making them efficient too. Once the body cells are efficient, they automatically regenerate and increase the immune system and anti bodies.

Go, try to Tagalize it! :)

It made me realize how small the Filipino language is as a lot of the words I need to translate have no Tagalog equivalent. Try:

revitalize
Kreb Cycle
mitochondria
weanling
compound
immune system
synthetic
motility
conversion
antibiotic
broiler
micropotential
premix
crustacean

***

The Fight

2008-02-09T03:11:05Z

Now that Uly and I are fighting, it's time for you to know how things are going on:

Since Uly still owes me Php 2000 plus the Php1000 that we plan to open account with. Now that he has new friends, and he sort of deserted me, I decided to pull back all my support to him, that I ended up saying all that I kept secret for him just for him to know that he is secure.

First, I told him that his wife invited me for sex when she got drunk. And then, I told him that I know about his ex's Eduard and TJ, which was told to me by his wife.

Things are going wild. My third class just made me admit about it. And Uly keeps on texting me about not paying the money he owes me.

Hmmm...

Toilet Menu

2008-01-27T01:18:49Z

Saw this sign in a toilet in a bus terminal along Cubao when I accompanied my boyfriend waiting for the trip to Batangas to start:

Donnie Has a Girlfriend

2008-01-19T10:16:53Z

With nothing to do, I decided to text the number that McDonald girl gave me. Her cousin, Jean, immediately replied, though I experienced what you may call as 'hate at first text.' [My thoughts in italics]

Donnie: Hi Jean, this is Donnie. Your cousin gave me your number.
Jean (another number): Im Jean 2, wla me load eh, ky nkpagtxt lng me,globe kpla smart me eh! tga angeles me, eh.txtbk knlng s celphne number me. nice meeting you
Donnie: Ah ok..hehe my friendster k b?
Jean: Wla,eh,Anu naka2tawa ha, wat age kna,pwd tawag knlng [You wish] last txt n2 wla me load reply k s celphne k wag d2 ok!wat ur true name?
Donnie: Donnie. I', 21. Cant call na, kakaen lng me and tulog na ako.
Jean: Anu kain log,wat umean, 19 na me, panu yan pag gs2 muh mit tyo,s angeles pame,kya muh kh puntahan d2 [What made you think gusto kta puntahan agad?],wat b,day mo mh?wla b maga2lt bk my g.f u?na?cn u dscrb ur self
[I did not reply, went to sleep.]
Jean: Hello doni,s jean 2,wat b,day muh, anu year k natapos?at pagb pumupunta u s work u nagcocomute kalang? [Fishing if I have a car?] tga san k.tlga?
Donnie: Sorry, nak2log ako. Sagutin ko lng mga tnung mo:
>panu yan pag gs2 muh mit tyo >>hnestly, tamad ako mgbiyahe;
>wat b,day mo >>dec 18;
>wla b maga2lt >>wla ako gf. saka text lng nmn, ano masama dun
>pagb pumupunta u s work >>sometimes nkikisabay sa bestfriend, sometimes ako lng commute
Jean: Ha,ganun,d k mhilig mgbyahe,cgro hanga txt nlng tau,or bka d kta mreply globe ka eh,tnx nlang s txting u. Sa akin wla magagalit n bf [Paki ko!]
Donnie: >Sa akin wla magagalit n bf >>di ko gets

Expectorant!

That's the time I lost my trust in the magic song...

And she needs serious SMS etiquette